Not so Terrible

Eliza turned two yesterday. Her birth -- the tense drive to the hospital, the rapidly-developing realization that there would not be time for an epidural, Cathleen's bone-rattling screams, Eliza's emergence -- the entire experience is crystal clear in my mind. I can distinctly see her under the heat lamp, and I can feel the swell of emotion I felt talking to her for the first time. But everything between those moments and yesterday are mostly a blur. I will match my memory up against anyone's, but I can barely remember where the hell I have been for the past two years. Some day, some day I will sleep.

Eliza had a pretty good birthday. She loved the small, wooden toy kitchen we bought for her (and which I allen-wrenched together the night before). Max was refreshingly excited for her, and not jealous as he himself had predicted he would be. We had a decent-sized but smallish party of friends and family. Smoked fish platter and bagels from Fairway. Lots of coffee. To honor Eliza's recent "cow jumping over the moon" obsession, we played "pin the moon underneath cow" and we ate a fantastic ice cream cake that Cathleen had made (with Max's able assistance) in multiple stages the day before. She decorated the top of the cake with a cow jumping over a moon, drawn out in sprinkles (having rejected my idea of a cow jumping over my butt imprint in the icing). The candle ceremony was right out of the book for a two-year-old and an almost-five-year-old: as we sang, Cathleen tried to put a party hat on Eliza; the elastic band grabbed her hair and she began wailing out loud as we were in mid-verse. Max was so anxious to "help" blow out the candles that he was practically hyperventilating before "...dear Eliza, Happy Birthday..." and he obliterated the two flames before Eliza could even manage an unintended breath between her sobs. She recovered in fine order once a spoonful of cake was placed in her mouth.

Eliza is a ray of light, and I do not hesitate to declare that truth. She has such a zest for life, an excitement for the happenings of her daily existence, and an infectious laugh that she employs at every possible opportunity, that to be around her is to enjoy your own life that much more. Yeah, I love her a little.